So he's 2 weeks old already and I cant believe it! Counting down the weeks to his due date time seemed to drag by. Now, I feel sad when I think he is growing up so quickly-- I know, its probably just pregnancy hormones and he's not REALLY growing up that quickly. I mean, he's still a newborn that pretty much just sleeps, eats and goes to the bathroom all day, but still, I heard the song "never grow up" by Taylor Swift yesterday and it set me off balling.
I've started to settle more into a routine this week and I've even been out of the house on my own (with the baby of course). Still, nights like last night where he is up every hour demanding to be fed totally throw me off and leave me exhausted, questioning if breast feeding is really what I want to do. I also never seem to be able to get my day going until after 12 and sometimes not until after 2.
This is how my mornings usually go: wake up at 6:30 am. Change and feed Cy. 7:15 eat my own breakfast. 8:00 feed and change Cy again. 9:00-11:00 clean up the house, take a shower get dressed. 11:00 feed and change Cy again. And there you have it, it's 12:00 and I'm just getting started.
A few things have really helped: my ring sling. The ring sling lets me get stuff done around the house and simultaneously puts Cy to sleep (while he's in it at least, as soon as I take him out he wakes up). I tried to breast feed in the sling but it was not very successful since he kept falling off the boob. The my brest friend pillow is also awesome. It doesn't really stay up on me but it at least gives me some support so I can feed him with one hand and do something else (like type) with the other.
How has Cy changed? Well, he has more periods of quiet alertness, where he is awake and not crying. He also eats more: 2 or 3 boobs at a time as opposed to just one. He's also gained a ton of weight. I was so worried since he still hadn't reached his birth weight at the first pediatrician visit (5 days pp). Well, at his 2 week visit he had gained 10.5 ounces since birth, and he grew 1/2 inch! This gave me a lot more confidence in my breast feeding since my husband thinks that when Cy is fussy it is because my milk is not enough. He is always trying to encourage me to let him give Cy a bottle. FRUSTRATING!!! I am dedicated to breast feeding especially since I attended LLL meetings for 5 months before giving birth. Sometimes I feel like giving in to him but I am determined to breast feed at least for 6 months.
Baby love! Cy is so cute sometimes I just want to eat him up. I can't wait until he smiles at me because right now when I tickle him he just gets fussy :)
Changes in me? Well about 4 days ago my incision started leaking a small, small amount of yellow fluid. I, of course, freaked out and thought it was infected after searching my symptoms online. I just had a doctor's appointment on Friday and my OB assured me that it was not infected and the fluid is coming from to little pin hole openings which is fine. Still, I don't want to take chances so I have been cleaning it with hydrogen peroxide and slathering on antibiotic ointment before covering it with surgical pads. It still hurts and its still leaking a little bit.
As far as activities, I have been a lot more mobile. I can walk a little faster and a little further but I have started taking it a little easier after my infection scare. Locchia is still happening (gross) but it comes in spurts usually when I go to the bathroom. I think my uterus is pretty much back to normal because my waist looks a lot better but I still have a little donut of fat right around my belly button. I bought a shaper to try to shrink my waist a little more and just assumed I would be an XS since my usual waist size is 25" and I wear a 0-2. When the shaper arrived I though it was missing a part because I couldn't even get it all the way around my waist! Ugh I was devastated. I went to measure my waist and now it is 29" so I should have ordered a small.... Ugh. Oh well, small problems.
I also have been experiencing night sweats. I wake up completely drenched and freezing and need to change my clothes to feed Cy in the middle of the night. It leaves me feeling disgusting in the morning because I am drenched in sweat and leaky milk, plus I look like a mess from waking up half a dozen times to take care of Cy. Sleep deprivation is still an issue and leaves me in a zoned out state pretty often, barely able to function. Usually I start to wake up by 12 and then get exhausted again at 4pm.
Well, no one said having a baby would be easy. I am taking my friends' advice and taking it one day at a time. It is reassuring to know that I am not the only one with these problems. I love my baby I am just trying to get adjusted to my new life.
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